12 Jan 2014

I slept through my alarm! Pro Tip: Always use your eye mask and earplugs so noisy drunkards don’t keep you up all night.I was supposed to get up at 6. I woke up at 630 and was freaking out. I ran around packing and simultaneously trying to boil the last of my eggs to bring with me. II managed to throw everything together and make it out the door at exactly 7a. The tour bus wasn’t there. I panicked. Then I looked at my ticket. It didn’t leave until 7:30. Boo.

The tour showed up promptly at 7:30 and I hopped on. Since we were going overnight they had a nice little trailer to put our big backpacks in. There were nine other people, about half the capacity of the bus. We headed out. They pointed out nice things along the way up north. Like the giant sugar cane plantations and the “cane train” tracks that hauls it all around.

They also told us about Captain Cook, who pretty much discovered the whole area. He shipwrecked there and was pretty sad about it, so he named things Cape Tribulation, Mt Sorrow, Mt Misery, Mt Despair, etc. He ended up being murdered by the Hawaiians once he fixed his ship and sailed there. They probably got sick of his negativity when he tried to rename Kauai, “I Cut Myself Just to Feel Something Island”.

Next was a crocodile spotting tour on a salt water river which feeds into the ocean. Apparently there’s a 4+ meter croc named Scarface in there. We didn’t see him, which I was not too disappointed over. We did see two baby crocs though they were cute. The tour guide was also pretty amusing. Like Crocodile Dundee with a sense of humor. The boat also acted as a ferry which dropped us on the other side if the river where the tour buses were waiting.

One the ladies working at the crocodile tour had a baby fruit bat! It was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen! It lost its mom so she’s raising it. It was sucking and licking her thumb. And if she didn’t pet it constantly it would reach its cute little wing out and grab at her. It was all swaddled up in a blanket. I almost died of cuteness.

We drove up a nice windy narrow road into the rainforest next. We stopped for a tour of a boardwalk path along the way. We learned all about mangroves, basket ferns, strangler figs, etc. We also saw some huge fiddler crabs and found a nest of green ants. They’re cool cause they pick a leaf and slowly pull it in into a ball. They glue it that way permanently with saliva. Not sure WHY they do that, but they do. It just looks like a giant moving ball of green insects. Kinda gross. The guide said they tasted like lime, so I tasted one. It was true. Very tangy. Almost like liking a nine volt battery that’s lime-flavored. Pro Tip: Just because you can eat the ants, do NOT go around tasting the rainforest. You will die. Quickly.These are also the ants that the aboriginals use as stitches. Tasty and functional!

Then they dropped us off at out various accommodations. I went in and got my campsite assignment. I went to see it it and it was pretty clearly one of the crappiest ones. There was literally no one else camping. So I went back and asked for the best one. I got it with no problem. So now I have a nice grassy patch under a big tree that will hopefully shield the rain. I think they just have a policy at most hostels to get rid if the worst rooms/sites first.

The first activity I planned was a night hike. The weather wasn’t bad so I walked to the beach while I waited for the hike. There’s no swimming allowed though, due to the jellies. It was a nice beach. Probably the biggest empty beach I’ve ever seen. It goes for miles and no one is on it.

The night hike was fun. The guide was a bit… blunt, I guess. He didn’t really tolerate B.S. and was generally annoyed by the stupid questions people asked. I liked him. He handed out flashlights and we headed into the rainforest. It had stopped raining… For the moment. We saw some crazy-big spiders, white-tailed rats, cane toads, centipedes, and a frog that looks an awful lot like a cane toad but is not actually an invasive species. Midway through it’s started bucketing rain down. I tried to look around but water was constantly in my eyes. We saw trees and nice plant life and rain. All the smart animals were hiding, the dumb humans were still wandering around. But the guide seemed really into all the naturey things so it was still really cool, despite the torrential downpour.

13 Jan 2014

It was pretty hot in the tent once the sun came up, yes sun, it had stopped raining! I got up and ate a breakfast of dried fruit and muesli bar. I bought the same food as I’ll be taking on my Tasmania hike. This is a dry run, so nothing but mediocre rations for me. I was kinda just lazing around so I got the campsites brochure out to see what hikes there were.There were three one-hour hikes and one four-to-five hour one. It was 930 and I had to be somewhere at 2.

But I also really wanted to save tomorrow, my whole day of doing nothing, for a really big adventure down to some of the towns we passed on the way up. That would take a whole day. So, in the spirit of doing everything. I decided to try to cram the 4-5 hour hike in. I quickly got ready and began speedwalking north toward Emmagen Creek, about 8k away from the campsite. I tried to take time to look for creatures on the way up but mostly I was saving that for the way back. I figured once I knew how long it took me to hike up there I could budget my time on the way home accordingly.

On the way up there were a few really major hills that definitely left me quite winded and tired. Once I stopped because I saw a lump in the road. Sure enough it started moving. I freaked myself out that it was a crocodile even though I was at least a kilometer up and several away from any salt water. But it was the right size for a baby one, about three feet long. I went really slowly until I saw the thing crawling up a hill on the side. It was not a crocodile. It was a giant three foot lizard. Pro Tip: Not every lizard is a crocodile, but it’s not a bad idea to treat them like they are until you’re sure.So I continued on. The next thing I saw were some birds that can only be described as graceful chickens. They were a similar size and seemed built for running. They proved it by dashing into the forest before I could get a picture. I reached the hiking path in about an hour and ten minutes. Pretty good if it was actually 8k. That was all along the paved and/or gravel Cape Trib road. Then there was another kilometer or so of hiking path.

At this point I began second guessing myself because, while the path was definitely there, it was also though some pretty crazy rainforest. But I figured since there are no large predators in the actual rainforest I’d be ok. I was watchful for snakes, though. So I forged on and told myself I had to turn around at 1130 at the very latest to be sure to allow plenty of time for the return. Especially since I had climbed over a giant mountain but was pretty much back at sea level, so I’d have to climb it again on the way home.

I made it to the end of the path and it was a glorious freshwater swimming hole, as promised. It was 1115 and I had pretty thoroughly freaked myself out about crocodiles (the saltwater ones can live in freshwater, the guide said so!) so I only went in for a second to cool off and get some pics of the resident fishies. The water was remarkably clear, but that seems to be the standard here.

I began my trek back. I took it slower. I really want to see a tree kangaroo in the wild so I was mostly looking up. I didn’t see one. What I did see was a cassowary. It popped out on the road for a second, saw me, and vanished before I could get a picture. Then I saw a few of the Ulysses butterflies go by. They are the most bright, almost neon, royal blue. Gorgeous. I also saw and made friends with a different butterfly. His wings had a turquoise boomerang shape and some dots. He flew with me down the path for a decent way and tried to land every few second but didn’t find his touchdown spots to be adequate for whatever reason.

On my way home I made really good time so I stopped in a tourist shop called The Snake House, which is very close to the campsite. They have various snakes in cages, nothing super impressive though. The lady at the register would know about reptiles so I asked about the giant lizard. It was a goanna. I also asked about the chickens, they were brushfowl. Nothing exotic. Womp womp.

I was really hungry at that point. So I ate my rations of tuna and another muesli bar before heading to my 2p exotic fruit tasting. I had decided to walk rather that get picked up once I saw on the brochure how close the farm was. The farm is ten acres and grows about 150 types of exotic fruit, but their commercial fruit is…. Mangosteen! Pro Tip: Mangosteen is amazing! Yay! Unfortunately it’s not in season so it wasn’t on the tasting menu.

To get super detailed, here are the fruits we tried on a scale from Yum! to meh. We started with unsweetened limeade from West Indian limes. It was pretty good, but does not get a spot in my rating system.

Yellow Sapote (Like a unicorn pooped a ranbow-sparkle sweet potato!): This one was my favorite. It looked like a sweet potato. Kinda tasted like one too. But very creamy and smooth. No one else liked it so I happily ate pretty much the whole thing.

Soursop (Deliciously juicy): They were so juicy you had to lean over the trash to eat them. But very sweet and again an odd, almost doughy texture.

Jakfruit (Yum!): It can be up to 3 feet long and 45 kilos. Pretty much the whole inside is edible. The rind is super sticky, though so you have to cook it or something. The part we ate were these little fleshy golfball-sized pods that contained the seeds. The were oddly doughy in texture but fairly sweet and good.

Salak (yum). The outside were a bit like lychee, actually so were the insides. Well, structurally. It actually broke apart into segments, like mangosteen, once you had it peeled. It tasted like a granny smith apple but dry. No juice at all. Odd. Probably my third favorite.

Carambola (yum-ish): That’s the fancy name for star fruit. It was much better than in the states. Nice and sweet with some tartness. Apparently they suck in the states because in order to ship them around you have to pick them early, when they’re not ripe, and they don’t develop any flavor.

Abiu (I’d eat it again, I guess): Sweet and tart. Again it had the sticky rind. They cut it like you would an orange but recommended popping it out of the rind rather than biting into it since it will stick everything to your lips for a long time and water doesn’t work to get it off.

Marmey Sapote (eh): Similar to the other sapote except redder and more juicy (the yellow was fairly dry). It kinda resembled papaya. Eh.

Gramichama (meh): Little orange and red berries. The orange were slightly less ripe and tasted sweet and vaguely planty. The red were much sweeter, just a generic berry flavor, but less plant flavor, which was good.

Davidson Plum (very Meh): were pretty. Deep purple blue on the outside, blood red on the inside. Unfortunately, while they look super sweet and juicy, they are actually horribly sour. Not a fan.

Unfortunately, none of these fruits ship well. The abiu can be entirely rotten inside and look fine outside. The others bruise from just bumping around in a car. Others are a pain in the butt to grow. Others just don’t have high enough demand to make them commercially viable. I’ll miss you, yellow sapote… sigh

We went on a little tour of the farm too, which was fascinating. The couple who own it planted everything on the ten acre property to be edible. If it wasn’t edible it served some other purpose. Like the bamboo they had acting as a water pump in a low area because it’s such a thirsty plant.

I really like it here so I asked the owned if he ever hired people. I said I might come back in April during the big growing season. He did not seem super enthusiastic. I think because they’re selling the farm and tired of working it. Pro Tip: Try to be a bit friendly before asking for something you want. These people do not yet understand it is their privilege to hire you. I wish I had a million dollars (that’s how much it is, roughly), I’d run away and fulfill my childhood dream of becoming a fruit farmer. I definitely had that dream. Right up there with astronaut and being a dog.

Instead I walked up the road to a little way to a place called Farmstay. I wanted to see what their deal was. As I was walking up so was another girl who worked there. A chicken ran up to her, so obviously ecstatic to see her. It was adorable. Anyway the manager greeted me and I told her I was just seeing what the place was in case I came back and needed lodging. I told her about our fruit theme wedding and she got all excited. She said they also generally do work for accommodation and would love to have me during the growing season. And then she insisted on bringing me to the back and giving me free fruit. I got three bananas, half a soursop, a mango, and three limes. Now this was proper fruit enthusiasm..

After that my feet really did hurt, so I headed home. I signed up for a pool tournament at the hostel. Mostly just to get free pool but I ended up in the final round. Mostly due to luck, since they play with smaller balls here so I was sucking big time. I just managed to force two of the guys to scratch on the eight ball by giving them terrible shots, but won the first game legitimately. I lost in the finals, which was good because I had no business there in the first place. And the guy I was playing looked like he DESPERATELY needed the $50 bar tab, which was the prize.

It had been a beautiful, if hot, sunny day with only sporadic 30-second rain showers. It was awesome!

**Look for a separate post detailing day three. It will be called the Cow Bay Death March. Foreshadowing!

15 Jan 2014

I woke up at 8:30 or so and ate a quick breakfast. I started packing up all my stuff, which was interesting and a bit challenging. Pro Tip: Everything is always damp, because it’s a RAINforest.Then I had to deal with the massive amounts of green ants that were swarming the side of the tent. They were pretty cool because the day before I watched them take down a horse fly. It was buzzing around under the rain fly and landed. A green ant that happened to be there just latched onto its leg. In short order 6 other ants had secured its other legs and one wing. I assume they dragged it off and ate it and was glad because it was annoying. But ever since then, they’d been congregating in the area.

Anyway I had to shake them all off, because i didn’t feel like eating them. I also had to hope it didn’t rain since I had stuff drying on the clothesline.

I finished packing. I told myself I’d check out and take it easy, but there was a boardwalk I hadn’t done yet and my feet were mostly feeling better… So I put my stuff in the luggage storage and headed off at a slow walk.

The boardwalk was amazing, as usual. First I saw a skink that only lives in Cape Trib. I then came across a couple who said there was a python up ahead. They also warned me of a different snake that was literally on the path. That didn’t stop me from almost stepping on it while momentarily distracted. But I saw it at the last minute and avoided certain death! OK, OK, I found it on a snake poster and it was completely harmless… probably. I kept going and finally came across the python. It was just sleeping on a big dead tree.

I went faster on the way back but still managed to see a turtle swimming along and had a giant stick bug almost fall on my head. It was neat because I thought it was just a leaf and then it caught hold on a branch in a way a leaf could never manage. I looked closer. Stick bug! It was probably about 8 inches long and had a green ant attacking its foot. I think that’s why it fell. Those green ants have nerves of steel!

The first stop on the way down was a different ice cream shop. This on allowed you to choose a flavor. They had a ton, but eliminating more common fruits narrowed it down. I ended up getting black sapote because it’s supposedly a super-creamy texture which you dress up with sugar and cocoa. So basically, super-creamy chocolate ice cream. It was really good.

Next we stopped at Mossman Gorge, which is an Aboriginal site. We got a guide who made us walk through smoke from a sacred fire to purify us. Then we got a lecture on tribe history. He showed us various paints they made from different things around the forest. Then we drove up to the sacred swimming hole and about half the group swam around while the other half wandered the boardwalk.

I was planning on swimming but the river bank was super rocky and shallow so I decided not to. I saw a wild turkey and yet another forest dragon on the boardwalk. I came across the second swimming spot, supposedly more dangerous, due to the river current. It was much better than the first. A small sandy beach and deeper water. At that point it was almost time to depart and I didn’t want to be soaking wet on the the bus so I just stuck my feet in.

Back in Cairns, I checked into the hostel and, on a whim, decided that after two weeks of being completely antisocial I should engage in a social activity. So I signed up for beer pong. I got teamed up with a German guy named Daniel. Our team name was The Biermeisters. I did really well the first game, but he sucked so we lost. But hey, free beer! We talked and had more beer (each of us bought a pitcher to share) until closing. He was very nice. I made a friend I’ll never see again!