Today is the day. My big hike down to Cow Bay. In particular the aboriginal tree painting and the exotic fruit ice cream store I saw as we drove through town. Since we made some stops after the town it was hard to judge the distance to town, but I didn’t think it could be that far. I was wrong, but we’ll get into that later.

Being a reasonable person, I asked the front desk. They said about 35 minutes by car, and that walking wasn’t possible. Oh. I almost, let it go. Almost. Pro Tip: Listen to the locals. It turns out they know the area they live in pretty well. I started walking north instead to one of the short hikes on the hostel map. Then I got to the beginning of the trail. It showed all of Cape Trib, including Cow Bay. According to the scale Cow Bay was only about 20k away (NO! Don’t do it, past self!). I walked that far yesterday. I felt I could handle double the distance today, I have done an Ironman after all. (This is not meant as a brag, but as an insight into how I think about any challenge. If it’s not worse than an Ironman, I must be able to do it, despite having been out of training for over a year).

So I grabbed a granola bar, some tuna, a water bottle, and my torch (er, flashlight) because I thought I would be gone past dark.

At first it was great! I went at an easy pace. I saw some wild pigs and a caramel colored bird that looked a bit like I imagine storks look. Nature! I passed the first landmark, about 7k in after 1 hour 45 minutes. A bit slow, but no cause for concern, right? After that I didn’t see much wildlife just some butterflies.

After about 10k I had to pee really bad. I’d been hydrating so well, I congratulated myself on this (though I was not so happy about it later). There was a place where the road was about 10 feet from the beach. I figured I could make it through 10 feet of jungle without dying. I was correct. I relieved myself and carried on.

At this point I had finished about half of my water bottle. I had also eaten my granola bar. About 14k in I came across a beach cafe. I briefly considered food but decided to hold out for Cow Bay, which was another (hypothetical) 5k away. I realized, a bit too long after I’d left, that I should have asked them to fill my water bottle. Pro Tip: When the opportunity presents itself ALWAYS fill your water bottle. I’d chatted with the owners a bit and they told me Cow Bay was another 7k down the road. OK, 7k, still not bad.

At this point my feet were complaining a bit. Probably due to the long walk the previous day on top of this. But I really wanted to make it. I continued on, against the good advice of the little voice in my head. The road got a little less forested with various inns and motels strewn about. None were really close to the road though. And I didn’t recognize any of them. I could have sworn the drive up hadn’t been up the same road. But it had to have been, since there is literally only one road. So I plugged on.

I was out of water and really thirsty. I was beginning to regret not bringing my second water bottle. That would have been mega heavy though. And my shoulders were ready complaining from the messenger bag I kept shifting from side to side. I began considering the various streams that were fast flowing, apparently the water in the is safe to drink, but I was too scared of crocodiles.

I don’t doubt I would have been fine, there were plenty of cars passing me, but at that moment I was a bit worried. Then I just happened upon a fruit stand! I bought a coconut. It was on the honor system, but I only had small change or a 10. I got a small coconut and stiffed them a buck, intending to pay the rest on my way back. I figured they wouldn’t begrudge me a dollar in this life and death emergency.

Now, how to open it without a knife. I didn’t really think this through. I wildly bashed my coconut into the road a few times. I’m sure I looked like a demented ape. Getting it cracked open, but not spilling the water inside is a delicate balance! I then stabbed at it with a stick and managed to make a drinking hole about an inch in diameter without spilling much. I drank it and tried to spit out all the coconut skin I’d mashed in when jabbing the stick at it. It was amazing. Electrolytes!

I finally reached a place I recognized. I was the first lodge/restaurant we’d passed after town! Yay! I didn’t stop for water because I was so close!

Around then I happened to look down at my feet. I was surprised to see not only a blister, but that it was bleeding. Of course, the injury that hadn’t been complaining at all immediately began to hurt ridiculously badly as soon as I saw it. I hobbled the last few hundred meters to the ice cream place.

It was neat. All exotic fruit trees along the driveway. And when you get the the building it’s just a little hut. I walked up and was trying to decide what flavor to get, passion fruit, pineapple, apricot, or wattleseed. Then the lady informed me that you do not get a choice. You get all four flavors in a cup, like it or not. Which is completely amazing because the thing I HATE worst in the world is choosing! The pineapple and wattleseed were super good. Wattleseed tastes like cappuccino. The passion fruit was pretty OK. And the apricot was meh, which is probably unsurprising. I sat in the grass and ate it. I also rinsed off my gross blister-foot.

I then asked the lady if she had tap water I could fill my bottle with. She warned me it was creek water, but I figured it was ok because I’m sure that’s what she drank and said to fill-er up. I chugged half of it. She was less happy to fill it the second time, but I didn’t care. I had a long walk ahead.

Luckily, I has packed bandaids, just in case. Pro Tip: Always bring bandaids with you everywhere. So I put copious bandaids over the bleedy foot and the same spot on the other foot which was in the beginning blister phase. I put some in other likely blister spots and basically made bandaid-shoes because, why not? I had a ton with me.

The trek down had taken me 5 hours. Screw the Aboriginal painting, I was heading home. It would be at least 9pm before I got back, and that assuming my bandaid shoes could support my bleeding, blister-ridden feet for 22k.

The first 4k went surprisingly fast and was only at a walking-on-broken-glass level of pain. I steeled myself for 4 more 4k’s (which is how I psychologically break down and absurdly long distance I have to go), when the car that was passing me stopped. It was a nice young couple from Melbourne that had been on the fruit tasting tour with me. The asked if I ranted a ride I said yes. Duh. (Yes! PRAISE THE SWEET BABY JESUS! GIVE ME A RIDE!!!!)

I felt kinda bad because I’m sure I smelled AWFUL. They dropped me home without incident, me without getting murdered, them without fainting from my stench. I hobbled to my campsite and then went to read a bit in the main bar/lounge area. I was super tired once I stopped moving. And my feet were DYING both top and bottom. Just completely done with blisters and walking. But I felt way too grimy, so a shower was in order. I got my stuff and slowly limped to the shower. I scrubbed myself better than I have since getting here.

My death march was over. I slept like a rock.